REFLECTION: 100 DAYS SOBER

Today I celebrate 100 days of sobriety. I never thought I’d get here.

I didn’t grow up drinking. In fact the impact alcohol & addiction had on people I loved—especially my father, who often disappeared from my life in cycles of benders, jail, and treatment—I steered clear. I lost my grandmother to alcoholism & addiction just months before I was born. And I lost my brother to a DUI crash when i was 19.

So I stayed away from alcohol. It wasn’t my thing—until it was.

When I became a police officer, it became a social tool. I learned I was a fun drinker.

A critical incident—a shooting—left its mark & something shifted. The walls I had built to survive started to crack. And the way my admin handled things compounded that stress & trauma. I reflect on what I told my undersheriff one day: “I never understood how an admin could drive an officer to put a gun in their mouth. I’m not going to do it, but now I understand.” And what began to overwhelm me wasn’t just the incident, but other buried things I had witnessed over the years. Things that no one should ever have to see or experience—but that’s the life of the badge. We carry those things so others don’t have to.

Eventually they carried me—into darkness.

I retired & with it came internal isolation. Even during fun I felt internal isolatation. Then COVID & the lockdowns came. I was drinking every day. I was slowly killing myself. We work so hard to survive on the job, yet here I was—I HAD STOPPED TRYING TO SURVIVE!

I wasn’t suicidal, but I was doing things that could & would kill me & didn’t care. Isn’t that the same thing? So I made the choice to enter PTSD treatment. Therapy, EMDR, Brainspotting, Meditation, Yoga & Ayahuasca—all were in the mix. I had 20…30…really 50 years of layers to defrag in my brain. And, eventually, I started to care again. Almost 100 days ago, I also chose to stop drinking. I chose to finally fight for myself. I chose to live.

Next week is the 4th of July. That date holds a deep importance in my heart. On that date 34 years ago I lost my brother. Every year since, I’ve lit the first rocket for my brother. This year I’ll light it in honor—not just of my brother, but for everything I’ve survived. For everyone who has helped me get here. For everything I still have left to do.

I will remember that:
-I’ve taken trauma & turned it into service.
-I have an amazing wife & three incredible sons.
-I got to dance with my little girl, Tyealeen, even if just for a two months.
-I have a mother who has stood by me through hell & back.
-I’ve had friends, partners, & warriors who showed up when I needed them most.
-I’ve had the honor to wear the badge & continue to serve through my story.
-I’ve learned the power of forgiveness… even forgiving myself.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you take something from it for yourself!

With love, gratitude, and honor,
Dustin

#reichertspeaks #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdwarrior #complexptsd #cptsd #motivational #sobriety #100dayssober